The Cycle Of Beliefs And Expectations

Last week, one of my coaching clients had his grandmother pass away. She was age 97. She did not have much money. She did, however, have quite a collection of furniture. Despite his personal desires, my client was persuaded by the other members of the family to assume ownership of the furniture. He already had all the furniture he needed. Now, he was acquiring a truckload of out-of-style furniture. And, the unspoken contract he had with the rest of his family did not allow him to sell or dispose of grandma’s furniture. His parents, aunts and uncles did not want the furniture, but they wanted it to stay in the family, forever.

How often in our own lives do we assume ownership of the “family furniture”? “Family furniture” is akin to beliefs and expectations. Family beliefs and expectations are thrust on us like my client’s unwanted furniture. The desire not to disappoint makes the unspoken contracts binding. We are expected to abide by family beliefs and expectations, quietly and obediently. Perhaps we are expected to inherit and run the family business, or go to college, or vote democrat/republican. Failure to comply amounts to failure as an individual. Parents lay out the blueprint. We follow. The round peg gets pounded into the square hole crushing our spirits and preventing us from becoming the creative individuals God intended us to be. More important than doing what we think we should, is doing what our heart tells us to do. When we deny the desires of our hearts, we miss out on our greatest joy and the world misses out on the unique contribution we are here to make.

As another example, a 70-year-old woman I know always wanted to start an orphanage. Her dream remains unfilled because she is paralyzed by her father’s beliefs and expectations. “Women are teachers, nurses, or housewives/mothers.” She inherited the “family furniture”! Unfortunately, her orphanage is not built and the world is not benefiting from the fine citizens that might be.

Let’s get into my Mindset Mechanic Tool Kit and examine the origin of your beliefs and expectations. Reach into the tool kit for the metaphorical flashlight and level. Use the flashlight to illuminate who is in the room with you when you make decisions. When they speak, is your level in balance or not? If not, reach for the metaphorical hammer. Hammer in beliefs and expectations that bring your level back in balance.

So, if you are going to inherit your “family furniture”, do so with total awareness of what you are accepting. In times of constant change, what worked five years ago may not work today. Follow your dreams thoughtfully and with purpose. You will have a rich and fulfilling life being who you really are!

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About the Author: Julie Rahm :)

Mindset means everything. And no one knows this better than Julie Rahm. Founder of America's Mindset Mechanic, author of the Military Kids Speak series, and creator of the “Mission: Possible!” Courses, Julie helps people develop the mental toughness to face any challenge. Her clients transcend relationship problems, get the results and well being they desire, and discover their unlimited personal power. With her passion and people-loving style, Julie has provided the tools for thousands of people to bridge the gap between their thoughts and their lives. Julie Rahm, M.S., is a certified Frame of Mind Coach who has appeared on numerous television and radio broadcasts. She inspired thousands of people to make the most of their lives as the host of “The Mindset Mechanic” program in Eastern NC. Julie provides mindset advice through humor in her weekly column in The Pamlico News. She has been quoted in numerous newspapers, and on the web atwww.AmericasMindsetMechanic.com, www.MilitaryKidsSpeak.com and www.WellandWiseOnline.com. An inspirational speaker and workshop leader, she is the author of Handle Everything – Eight Tools You Need to Live Well and Prosper. The daughter of a Navy man, wife of a U.S. Marine, and winner of the Secretary of Defense Award for Excellence, Julie is the Champion of Military Kids around the world.

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